“I had no idea how hard it was to rest!”
I was sitting down with one of my sabbatical coaching clients for a one-month check-in when he confessed to me, “I had no idea how hard it was to rest!”
He was a high-achiever — owner and operator of a multi-million dollar business with teams to lead, people to manage, vision to share, and challenges to overcome. And while he understood the three core phases of sabbatical (rest, reflection, re-alignment or re-assignment) he was now experiencing the rest phase. And it was hard!
He’s not unusual. The business owners and ministry leaders I coach are high-achievers. They think about leadership, productivity and efficiency regularly. Many have a hard time turning off and being present, in the moment and with people.
Fun fact: rest is easy before it gets hard. Physical recovery. Sleep. Working on tasks unrelated to work. Winding down from being wound up. It’s like a vacation — a few days in and the wind down is complete, usually just in time to head back to work.
In sabbatical or retirement — there’s no going back. Instead, you get to (have to?) keep resting! One month into sabbatical, that’s where this high-achieving business leader found himself.
Full confession — that’s also where I found myself 27 days into my 90-day sabbatical.
And that’s when I first noticed the key difference between structure and rhythm.
Lost Structure? Find Rhythm
When I left full-time employment at the end of 2021 to pursue a 90-day sabbatical, I had no idea how much losing structure would impact me. While I was working, my days and weeks were filled with tasks and projects to complete, meetings to lead and attend, and a constant stream of phone calls, texts, and emails which required my response.
While I had some choice in how to manage my time, I was part of a team and led a team. That often meant structure was external and imposed. It followed the calendar and the clock. Ideally, my calendar and my clock, but often other people’s calendars and clocks.
When sabbatical came, most of that disappeared. No more projects, tasks, meetings, phone calls, texts, and emails requiring my response.
I felt lost. Unstructured. Not knowing how to rest.
That’s when I discovered that I didn’t need structure. Instead, I needed rhythm.
Unlike structure, rhythm is internal, not external. It’s discovered, rather than imposed and more about the body clock than the alarm clock.
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Structure
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Rhythm
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It’s learning to live in what the ancient Greeks called kairos.
Two Kinds of Time
Kairos is one of two Greek words for time. The first word is chronos. The English words chronology (a timeline) and chronometer (a fancy name for a watch) are derived from chronos. It’s “clock time” or “calendar time” and deeply connected to structure.
But kairos is different. Often translated as “opportunity” or “opportune time”, it’s perhaps best captured as a “moment in time” — a first kiss, the birth of a child — that stands apart from ordinary time. It’s about presence, not productivity.
Learning to Live in Rhythm
Those entering sabbatical or retirement experience a grief — and often some fear — when structure is removed. The clock and the calendar — chronos time — are no longer in charge.
While the loss of structure is real, this can be a kairos moment — an “opportune time” — to discover and establish life-giving rhythms that allow you to experience rest for your body, mind, and soul.
For Reflection
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What structures used to govern your days and weeks? Which ones are missing now?
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What emotions are you experiencing with this loss of structure? Pay particular attention to “uncomfortable emotions” like fear, grief, sadness, and discouragement.
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Looking forward, how would a new mindset of an “opportune time” reframe your thinking? What might be possible now that you are no longer shackled to structure?
For Further Learning
Search the Edens View blog for articles tagged Goal Setting & Planning. This will give you some simple ideas to get started discovering new rhythms.